So in continuation of my previous post, my latest “get the hint already” story:
I met this guy a couple months ago during my “I should be nice to people” stage and against my better judgement, gave him my number. Physically, he wasn’t what I usually like but he seemed nice enough so I figured I’d give it a chance. We spoke on the phone a couple times and I agreed to go out on a dinner date.
He picks me up, then stops off at a gas station to fill up and when he gets back into the car, he hands me a pack of gum. I didn’t ask for anything but he explained to me that he likes to do nice things for people. Okay, sure, I take the gum. He then tells me he’s got to stop by his friend’s place to pick up a pair of shoes. I’m thinking, ya gotta do that tonight?? He tells me his friend had a business that went under so he had shoes/merchandise left over, so he was taking me there to help his friend sell some of the stuff.
We get there and they start going through his stash looking for my size, and giving me boxes, “Try this on! Try that on!” I found one pair that I liked but nobody was telling me how much they cost. Then Mr. Moneybags hands his friend $100 and I’m thinking uhh….. is he paying for them? because I didn’t agree to pay $100 for them. I asked him about it because I was feeling wierd about getting shoes from him in the first 30 minutes of our first date. He said we could make a swap. I had mentioned earlier that I got a new monitor for my computer and he said he take the old one off my hands in exchange for the shoes. I figured that was a fair trade so I shrugged it off.
We finally get to the restaurant and he’s droning on and on, all he did was talk about relationships and how people should treat people the way the want to be treated and how he likes to help people and blah blah blah. The whole time I sitting there (overanalyzing as usual) about what exactly about the date was going wrong. He picked me up, got me a pair of shoes, took me to a nice restaurant and was being polite. Doesn’t sound like a bad date right?
Well, for one, the relationship talk was a bit much for me for a first date. I had to let him know. I said something to the effect that the relationship talk was a bit too heavy for me and I was starting to feel like I was on an interview. He tried to pull back but something still didn’t feel right. The only way I could describe the date was “nice” which really doesn’t mean much other than that it wasn’t horrible. Anyway, I figured I’ll probably give it one more date.
We talked during the week, he was trying to be helpful with my job search (although he directed me towards a data entry job even though I said I was looking for something in web design). Then we spoke again and I told him my bank was giving me problems and holding a check I had deposited and no one in the bank seemed to know where the check was. I was upset because it was a large check and the bank had debited it out of my account without even notifying me!!! Rent and bills were due in a couple of weeks and I wanted to get my funds in order.
Mr. Moneybags then asked me how much I needed and then said to me, “Who do you bank with, I’ll go deposit money into your account for you.” Um… is it just me, or was that a bit too much from someone I only went out with once?? So I told him it wasn’t necessary, I had contacted someone at the branch to look into it for me. But he kept going on about how he had been in that situation before and he just wants to help and I kept telling him it was okay. He kept pushing it so I finally said, “If you want to help, you can take me out to dinner so I don’t have to buy groceries…ha ha.” So then he says, “Okay great, we’ll go for dinner…. then afterwards I’ll take you to the store and get you some groceries…” I told him just dinner was fine.
Saturday rolled around and the overanalyzing paid off in this case. I finally figured out what was wrong with the previous date and it wasn’t just the over-relationship talk…. we hardly laughed during the dinner, if at all. There was no light-hearted banter, no joking around, no connection; dinner was BORING. And now, it felt like he was trying to buy my affection, which is ironic because he had complained about gold diggers on our previous date. Helloooo buddy, if you don’t want a gold digger, then stop throwing your money around. Don’t get me wrong, I like it when a man pays for dinner but offering me rent money after one date??? Hmmm….
I really didn’t feel like going out with him again, so I called him and cancelled our dinner date. I told him I was feeling uncomfortable with him offering me money because I didn’t know him that well. Then he said it was supposed to be a loan anyway and he had expected me to pay him back. I told him I assumed he meant a loan but it still made me uncomfortable because we hardly knew eachother; what if I ran off with the money?
THEN the guy said, “Oh… I was going to make you sign something, in case you didn’t pay me back, I could take it to small claims court…” I was like WHAT? So I said, “Maybe you shouldn’t loan money to people you may have to take to small claims court” to which he replied, “But I don’t know you.” Which was basically my point, smarty pants.
After I cancelled our Saturday plans, he says “What about Sunday?” (We had made some tentative plans for Sunday earlier in the week) He had suggested he come over and watch movies but I told him that I wasn’t ready to have him up in my place, laying around watching movies, to which he replied, “Nah…when I said movies, I meant, like a matinee, say around 2 o’clock” or some bullshit like that but really, he had mentioned before that he wanted to bring some DVDs over so I dunno where all this matinee talk came from. So I was all nah nah… I’ll call you…
So I’m thinking he’s going to leave me alone now, after I cancelled TWO dates with him, told him I was uncomfortable and pulled the old “I’ll call you” bit on him. But some people just don’t get the hint. Stay tuned for Part 3.
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OH well.
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