Crispy's Corner

What better way to start off the final Canada’s Next Top Model recap then with yet another Sisi confessional? If this modelling thing doesn’t work out for her, she can always write Tricia’s elimination speeches.

“Who’s gonna be Canada’s next top model? Is it gonna be the skinny little girl, who had the biggest transformation? That would be very cliche. Is it gonna be the simple, Canadian sweetheart next door. Or is it gonna be a unconventional beauty? We’re about to find out.” (Just like the other site, click on the images to see a larger view)

This heffer actually took the time to write this shit out. She looks like she is reading off of cue cards on her lap.

Ha! Andrea says that she doesn’t think Alanna should still be in the competition because her upper body is “hockey player-like.” Alanna thinks Andrea is wierd because one minute she is crying to her mommy, the next minute she is cussing up a storm.

Check out what Andrea had to say about Tricia on her blog:

Entry for June 28, 2006
“Today we had a photo shoot and I have some strong feelings towards Tricia and, to a lesser degree, Sima. You see, we all have been drilled about being on our “best behavior” while working at a photo shoot. But then we all see Tricia and Sima laughing like children every time we saw them together. It just seems a little hypocritical. It would be nice if Tricia herself could be an example all of the strong vocabulary she uses when judging us – maybe it’s because we are `still learning’ but still – it can be frustrating at times.“

Anyway, on with the show. Covergirl commercial!

The director’s reaction to Sisi’s commercial. I don’t like how they did her hair & makeup. Her head looks as round as those balloons. Caillou anyone?

Sisi wasn’t happy with the commercial either. I had to agree, it was a bit rough.

The director told Andrea she sounded like a news anchor. Hers was rough too but she looked good. He had the most problems with Alanna because she was very nervous and uncomfortable. His reaction to Alanna cussing when she messed up her lines.

Poor Sisi couldn’t walk a straight line and kept walking off the camera frame.

Steve (director) teaching the girls how to pose. I think he’s directed one too many CG commercials.

Easy, breezy, beautiful, COVER GIRLS!?

To see the commercial, watch about a minute and a half into Part 2 YouTube

Since there are three girls left, we are treated to two elimations this episode. First up: Sisi, Andrea and Alanna. Who goes home?

Her parting words?
“I’m not gonna be Canada’s next top model but I’m gonna be Canada’s next quirkiest model!” Okay. Bye Sisi!

The next day the two remaining girls go to a test cover shoot for Fashion Magazine. Andrea is excited at the prospect of wearing a $9000 dress. The photographer kept going on and on about about how Andrea’s body type was so easy to work with because she’s so thin.

Runway showtime. We finally get to see Tricia strut her stuff. Ms.Jay Stacy is also on set to give the girls some runway direction and tips with her sexy legs!

Mr. Jay stopped by for the fashion show and final judging.

I have to admit…Andrea did better than I expected on the runway. Surprise, surprise, the little country girl found some confidence. I still don’t like her walk though. Kinda looks a little stiff.

Poor Alanna, they put her dress on backwards and she was sent out on the runway with the train of the dress in the front. Despite that, she did well and managed not to trip.

Back at the house, the girls are talking about who will win and Andrea says in her confessional, “It will hurt immensly WHEN SHE wins.” Then she starts crying because she doesn’t think she’s going to win and starts whining like a child. “I’ve never had people fussing over my makeup, I’ve never had people tell me I’m pretty, I’ve never been this respected.” Something along those lines but she was saying it all in this whiny child voice that I couldn’t bear to rewind it to get an exact quote.

Where the hell do they hold judging? A jail?

Wait a minute…I thought they were in Victoria, not Hawaii!

Yes folks, the budget ran out and the girls did not even leave the island to go to Vancouver. Hell, it doesn’t even seem like they had enough budget to do a proper nation-wide search for contestants! They did their runway show for “the little bitch”

In the final judging on ANTM, the girls usually get all glammed up. Here are the CNTM girls all “glammed up.”

Wait a minute!!!!! Are those earrings from CLAIRES????? (if you don’t know, it’s a little cheapie jewelry store) You wanna know how I know they are from Claires? Because I have the same pair. Three for $10!!! Way to go with the CNTM budget. They probably got a pair for Andrea and Sisi too. I mean really, they are supposed to be dressy. I wear mine with my hoodie at school to try to draw attention away from my uncombed hair.

Besides, I’m merely a commoner, I can wear cheap earrings!

All the judges are finding it difficult to choose a winner. Stacey breaks down during judging after Mr. Jay says “It’s hard as a model to judge other models because you know what it feels like,” and has to leave the room. She came back shortly and nobody bothered to explain why she brokedown.

Back to judging the girls. Here are a couple side by side comparisons.

They came to their decision with a “dramatic” silent vote.

After a very long speech from Tricia she announces that Canada’s…Next….Top….Model…is….

Andrea!

Kind of ironic since she’s been complaining every week, since the first week that she wanted to go home. Anywhoo, they let her call her mommy to give her the good news.

They ended the show with a champagne toast. Considering they put the girls in Claires earrings, I’m surprised they didn’t toast with Canadian beer with some maple syrup on the side.

OH Canada!

Well…it’s finally come to an end. I have to say, it was a love/hate thing doing these recaps but I hope y’all enjoyed it

YouTubes

Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

Next week is the finale!

Onto episode 7 of Canada’s Next Top Model:

So we start off with a Brandy spiel, “That’s so funny, like I was trying not to laugh, they think I’m not versatile…..that’s bullshit! … like, like, like… ” Like whatever, I can’t remember what she said exactly and I don’t want to rewind it. Basically she is disagreeing with the judges on her apparent lack of versatility in her look. She’s a pretty girl but she really looks like a mall girl here rather than a “model.” ** side note – those earrings are from Aldo

I think I’ve hardened myself against Sisi. She was saying something and I just tuned out. Judging by the expression, she was probably making a snide remark.

Alanna is talking about how Andrea is always complaining about wanting to go home. I agree with her. She has been complaining since the first day she got there.

Go-Sees this week. (Doesn’t look like they’ll be leaving Victoria)

The thing about ANTM is that even if you’re not a winner, at least you leave with a good portfolio but I don’t know if I can say that about CNTM. I haven’t really been feeling the concepts of the photoshoots but not only that, the quality of the pictures aren’t very good either. Like I said before, some of them look like my crappy screenshots.

I didn’t quite get the name of her clothing line but she says it means “little bitch” in Croation. Perhaps I was underestimating the fashion scene in Victoria? But I’m not feeling her shirt or her hair but hey…that’s just me.

Brandi got some points off for being early but her first go-see went pretty well.
Sisi did well except she has a small tattoo on her upper butt/hip area and that worked against her a bit. I tried to get a screenshot but it was too blurry. But it’s in Part 2 of this Episode’s YouTube.

Its funny how two people can look at the same thing/person and see something totally different. I’ve been calling Alanna “Bland Alanna” since the show started but one of her go-see interviewers said she thought she was “gorgeous,” and that her outfit was perfect for a go-see. Uh sure, I guess. It’s not that I think she’s ugly, I just think she’s ordinary, kinda plain. I didn’t realize until the 6th episode that she has pretty eyes!

Tsk Tsk. Brandi is shopping during her go-see time. She also got lost and the funny thing was she was talking outloud and said “where is Fort St?” The cameraman/person turns the other way and zooms into the street sign as Brandi is feverishly walking in the opposite direction. I guess they are not allowed to interfere with the “drama.”

On one of the go-sees, the girls were asked to model bathing suits and to bring their own. Andrea probably thought she was being pretty keen by bringing two but she packed them in plastic bags like it was her lunch or something and the “go-see-er” said she seemed a bit disorganized as she rummaged through her plastic bags.

Then Andrea says that her go-see wasn’t fun because the interviewer lady seemed “very business oriented and knew what she wanted.”

Sisi and Andrea won the go see challenge and were treated to a day at the spa. The other two go home looking dejected and settled down to some microwaved fried chicken.

How old are these girls? Here they are running off to go find Andrea’s diary (that’s why you don’t write nothing you don’t want people to see) Finally, the suspense is over…. WHAT IS IN ANDREA’S SUITCASE????

What a damn letdown. No dildo, whips, torrid love letters or anything to warrant being called a freak. You know what they found? CANDY. Yes, it was quite a large and unusual amount of candy, apparently she had a whole suitcase full but I mean, really. CANDY? That was what the suspense created last week was all about?

Then they proceeded to go through Andrea’s wardrobe, making fun of everything. First I thought they were being mean but isn’t that what I do during my recaps? Ooops…I guess I’m not one to talk about making fun of people

Alanna said one of Andrea’s sweaters remind her of when her cat coughs up hair balls… They also went through Sisi’s closet as well, taking turns doing their best Sisi impressions.

The fun doesn’t stop there. They had a party platter of cheese and cold cuts and wrote a note saying it was for the winners of the challenge. Then they proceeded to put salt all over it to play a practical joke on the girls. I think they need to find new hobbies. Go read a book or something!

Then Brandi puts her foot in her mouth and starts going on and on about how Sisi can’t win because she’s not born in Canada and that if Sisi wins it would be “some embarassing shit and a disappointment to Canada.” I’m not much of a Sisi fan but I’d be more “embarassed” as Brandi puts it, if Sisi wins because she’s annoying, not because she wasn’t born in Canada. Besides, Canadians are always boasting about our “multiculturalism” so you can’t be caught on camera saying shit like that. Although I think our so called multiculturalism is bullshit, I’ll stay on the task at hand. Which is finishing the rest of this damn recap.

The way Brandi speaks…one has to wonder if she grew up speaking English. “I think Sisi could be a top model but not Canada’s next top model. Canada’s next top model I think she should be born from in Canada.” I kid you not, she said “be born FROM IN Canada.”

As much as I don’t like Sisi, I wouldn’t sabotage her food. I take food and eating very seriously! I actually felt bad for her. I think I hear Andrea saying “eww” in the background.

Photoshoot time. And 80s ode to workout videos like Jane Fonda. Remember crimped hair?

Anyway, Sisi is up first and she usually does well in her photoshoots because the photographers like the way she gives them a lot of different stuff to work with rather than one look. Apparently she was “discovered at 16″ and did some work then. Andrea thinks that she has an unfair advantage. Maybe so, but check out the look on Andrea’s face as she watched Sisi’s photoshoot.

That’s the poster child of giving the haterade face if I ever saw any! But why does she always look like she’s going to cry? Oh yeah, because she always does. She makes me feel like a heartless bitch. I have to say though, I’m quite impressed with her transformation. That’s why I could never be a talent scout. I would have never thought she could change so much. Remember her like this?

As Tyra would say, I think Brandi thinks she can get away with just being pretty but it’s not working for her in this shoot because they are supposed to be a bit silly and ridiculuos. Sima, the art director, says she is too concerned with looking “cool.”

Back at the house, Sisi is doing her usual confessional shit talking.

You never really know someone until you live with them. Brandi told Alanna she got sick and puked on her bed. (She also puked in the kitchen sink last week. Girlfriend should not be drinking if she’s going to be puking all over the place. eww!) Instead of cleaning it up, she put a pillow over it. I feel like puking just thinking about it. I think she did change it later on though, but it’s still gross.

Sisi wore this yellow dress thing to judging. It’s her dad’s polo shirt which she fashioned into a tube dress. It kinda looks strange to me but I’ll give her points for creativity.

The guest judge said that Sisi has a Zoolander pose! Harsh!

The two biggest shit talkers ended up in the bottom two.

Brandi ends up getting the boot. They tried to soften the blow by saying that she could make a lot of money doing commercial modelling but she is not cut out for high fashion. Brandi doesn’t take it too well and tells them “I think you guys are making a BIG MISTAKE” with all this dramatic music in the background. She left the room and didn’t bother to hug any of the girls.

I think she’ll be able to continue modelling though but maybe not “couture.” Another one bites the dust. Bye Brandi!

YouTubes
Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

Don’t worry non-CNTM fans, there’s only a few more weeks to go!

For CNTM fans, I have some bad news. I’m not recapping episode 6 because I already caught the episode last wednesday and I really can’t bear to watch it again to get the screenshots. But I will spoil the ending and reveal who got booted this week and post this week’s photoshoot pics. They weren’t half bad.

So, from what I’ve learned from ANTM is that models aren’t always conventionally pretty and have to be a certain size, blah blah blah…. However, I was still kissing my teeth at who they chose to be at the bottom two.

Bland Alanna, Kooky Sisi and WTF-is-she-wearing Andrea are safe but…

Brandi and Ylenia are in the bottom two? Way to go Canada!

Ylenia gets sent home. Something about her bone structure and that her efforts to lose weight off her hips is sacrificing her face. Oh LAAWWD! I think Sisi might win…

Bye Ylenia! You will be missed.

YouTubes for episode 6
Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

Episode 6 recap from CNTM official site

I guess everybody was out enjoying the long weekend. Finally got the youtube yesterday. Dum da dum, here’s the recap just in time before tommorrow’s episode!

I think it’s really sad how weight is such an issue for so many women, even for those who shouldn’t even be worrying about it. I thought Ylenia was crazy when she said he hated her body because although she is allegedly big for a model, she still looks great. Sure, I thought she was crazy until somebody asked me if I was PREGNANT. Then all of a sudden, logic went out the door and I was left feeling like Ylenia, even though I understood LOGICALLY that the girl who asked me was crazy for thinking that. With that being said, here is this week’s weight mishap:

“We wonder if your gym body is fit for fashion.” Alanna misread that as being told that she is not thin enough. I thought that they meant that she was too muscular or something but I guess both her and Ylenia won’t be eating any pasta this episode.

This week’s photoshoot is supposed to be a “strong European editorial..something you would find in French Vogue…” according to Sima Kumar, creative director. I think it looks creepy. It reminded me of this horror novel I read a long time ago (can’t remember the name) involving taxidermy. Blech! I guess I don’t know much about fashion.

Oh yeah, they had to pose with a bird and it pooped on Andrea!

Hmm…how interesting…they edited Sisi’s “don’t want to lose to stupid, vain girls” comment from last week into this episode. Strange indeed…

Looks like they are setting some background for the fight between Sisi and Tenika. Here is Tenika talking about Sisi’s behaviour:

And Sisi talking about how much of a threat she is:

And Alanna saying that Tenika is a diva, so they can have an excuse to blame Tenika. For those who have been keeping up with my recaps, y’all know that I think Sisi needs someone to tell her something about her unessessary cattiness.

Andrea and Tenika are still BFF. They probably stay up late talking about boys and braiding eachother’s hair.

Tenika is the first Black girl I’ve ever heard say “extensions” instead of “weave.” How dare these girls mess up my stereotypes! (kidding!)

More Sisi and Tenika drama. Tenika is complaining about how long it takes for her to maintain her weave, including combing and blowdrying. Sisi barges in while Tenika is naked to tell her to stop so she can sleep and complains about Tenika’s “barking.” Tenika thinks Sisi is being inconsiderate. We are treated to the sounds of cats screeching right before commercial break. Is there a catfight brewing perhaps?

Next morning, Sisi goes and complains again to Tenika for keeping her up late the night before. Sweet Jesus! Tenika finally let her have it. Lots of bleeping for CityTV to edit out
Episode 5: Part 2 (It’s about 4 minutes into the video)

My girl Brandi came through for me this time and agreed that Sisi was just asking for a tongue-lashing. Tenika asked Sisi if she’s that inconsiderate and Sisi says “Yes, I was trying to sleep.” I don’t care what Tricia or anyone else says. When you are a person of “colour,” anything you do reflects on your race, whether you want it to or not. Sisi dear, you are doing me wrong and you need to sit down!

For all her tough girl talk, when it came down to it, she couldn’t hold her own when Tenika finally let it out. Not only did she try to get away, she claimed that the other girls were complaining to her about Tenika. Ylenia came in to state that that was not the case.

Once again, Sisi punked out and waited until Tenika left the room before calling her a bitch, making faces and being snarky in her one-on-one interviews. Duh-Gina is looking good to me right now.

Anyhoo…the girls get some interview practice with Jeanne and Michael Gross. I love Ylenia. She’s so pretty.

Sisi and another lovely hat.

Chuups! Jeanne is trying so hard to make Tenika into the bitch. Michael, who was also interviewing them, said Tenika did well. Jeanne interrupted him to say, “Talk about calculating!” Poor Tenika. They cut to her one on one interview and she is raving about how great her interview with Jeanne was. I don’t know, maybe I’m the one missing out on something here. Jeanne went on to say that someone (Tenika) who has that much “personal power, confidence, articulate, etc etc…. I [Jeanne] don’t understand why they’d want to be a model.” WTF??? HUH? Then Micheal “joked” that she was probably out to get Jeanne’s job, to which Jeanne replied, “She can get her own damn job!”

Then Jeanne called Andrea “revenge of the nerds.”

Jeanne ended up picking Sisi as the winner of the interview challenge because of her “fearlessness,” “willingness to expose [herself]” and that she’s funny. Michael chose Ylenia; at least he has some sense.

Back at the house, Brandi is amusing her IPodless self by dancing to the clicking of the stove…

Andrea is not impressed by the girls drinking so she takes comfort in Sisi’s company where they talk about how the other girls talk about people behind their backs. When Sisi pretends to act like she’s the reasonable one who doesn’t do those things, Andrea replies by saying “You’re such a good person.” Okay, Sisi? Queen of confessional shit talking? OOOOOoookaaay.

Oh yeah, Sisi also recites poetry:
“Girls, yesterday is history
Tommorrow is a mystery
Today is a gift
That’s why it’s called the present”

Hey Russell!! You should have her on Def Poetry Jam!!!

Judging time. Sigh. I think I’ve said enough about them trying to make Tenika the bitch. Just watch the video and judge for yourself. I’m not saying anymore about that.
Episode 5: Part 4

Surprise. Surprise. Guess who gets sent home?

Hmmpf.

Tenika was very gracious in her exit interview. She wasn’t my favorite as a model but she was the only person I was sad to see go. Oh well.
Bye Tenika!

Episode 5 YouTubes
Part 1 — Part 2 — Part 3 — Part 4 — Part 5

My regular and only source for the YouTube videos of CNTM hasn’t uploaded the videos for episode 4. I think YouTube has some new rule about uploading copyright material, so without those videos, no screenshots! So instead of an entire recap, here are some highlights and thoughts.

Once again Sisi is getting on my nerves. They had a personal trainer put them through an intense workout and Sisi claimed she was sick and had to stop. Later, when they were having a one on one with him, she revealed that she wasn’t really sick. When he asked her why she told him, she said she just wanted to be honest. OK. What happpened to that BS you were spewing last week about a model should be professional, even if she’s sick?

I read some of her blog comments and I think one poster said it best:
“Sisi, you need to tone down the attitude asap. You give off this superior attitude that you are better then everyone and that is not a desirable trait. There is a way to be confident without being a biatch. Even when the judges talk to you, you look at them as though you could care less.”

Often times when a woman is confident and strong, she gets mistaken for being a “bitch.” I think that is what Sisi is trying to convey but she’s just coming off snarky and arrogant. Another issue I see here is that many reality shows follow a certain formula when casting their shows. Sometimes when I watch the show, I feel as if they are trying so hard to typecast Tenika as “the Black bitch,” and to me, she just isn’t.

Tenika does have her moments, she did go into confessional to say that she thinks Brandi is a snake and she was talking about Sisi with the other girls during this episode. However, I feel that Tenika’s attitude towards Sisi is warranted because if Sisi is going to give attidute, then she’s going to get attitude. In a behind the scenes video on the CNTM website, Tenika and Sisi are having a conversation about runway walking and Sisi interrupts her to tell her that she talks too loud. As she smiles and says sorry, she continues to tell Tenika that she’s such a tomboy and looks uncomfortable in a dress. Whatever Sisi.

Anyway, Sisi’s groupies on her blog seemed to be clouded by their “Asian Pride.” I think there is definately some racial tension here which is unfortunate. Some commenters on Sisi’s page would say that there’s nothing wrong with being a bitch but then the groupies go over to Tenika’s blog and tell her what a bitch she is and that she’s mean to Sisi. OK…I thought it was okay to be a bitch. One commenter even went so far as to say that Tenika has “baboon hands..lips are too big..and they don’t like her hair.” If that don’t sound like some racist shit, I don’t know what is.

In a way, I kind of feel like I shouldn’t be picking on Sisi so much since I am Asian myself but at the same time, I just call it how I see it. According to next week’s preview, Tenika is finally going to let Sisi have it. I hope this doesn’t get edited into a “Black Bitch vs. Quirky Asian.”

Anyway, that’s my 2 cents about that. Onto the photoshoot. This week’s was much better. They posed in lingerie with a sexy male model. They were also asked to pose topless which made a few girls uncomfortable but everyone participated. This week’s shots didn’t look like one of my crappy screenshots for a change and everybody looked good! Even bland Alanna has some spice this week. I guess all it took was a sexy man to turn these girls out! There were supposed to be two photos of each girl, one with their tops and one without. For some some reason, Brandi and Tenika only had one photo on the website….

Ylenia

Tenika and Brandi

Sisi

Andrea

Alanna

And this week’s “bootee.” Bye Heather!

Links to the CNTM recap and videos.

** edited – For those who saw the first part of this post, I’ve added the second half of the recap at the end. Scroll down until you see “Part 2″ to see the rest. **

Some of screen caps are a bit blurry this week (sorry!) but the links for the actual video are up on my previous post. Okay, with that being said, let’s get into it!

The show starts with the girls coming home from the last elimination. Everybody is feeling a little dejected. Natalie is exercising with her saran wrapped hips, Andrea is shaving her arms and Sisi is upset with the girls for choosing her to be the one to get the boot. She voices her thoughts on who she believes wants her out:

Natalie – “I know I’m getting on your nerves.”
Alanna – “You wanna take me out before they take you out first, huh?”
Tenika – “I know you’re weak.”
“You know what guys? This is round 3, I’m gonna take you one by one.”

Sisi needs to stop with this psuedo-bitch routine. I’m not buying it. Last week she went into confessional to make fun of Dawn and this week she’s spewing (empty) threats to those that want her out. If you’re so bad, why are you punching your fists in confessional? Go have it out with them chicks! You’re not a bitch, you’re annoying. (She’s also “declaring war” on the wrong girls. The four girls that thought she should go home were Dawn, Ylenia, Brandi and Heather) In the words of Crunk and Disorderly “HOE sit down!”

The girls arrive at a bowling alley and find out they are in for a runway lesson with Stacy and her legs! Excuse me Miss Stacy!

Stacy was just as dismayed by their walks as Jay was in the first episodes. Some of her comments include “Start stomping…oh God! NO. Go back!” “Oh. My. God.” “It’s not a drag queen show.”

Tenika, get rid of those square earrings!

After Stacy gave Andrea criticism on her walk, Andrea was caught wiping her eyes. Stacy called her out and asked her if she was crying. She claimed she wasn’t but given her track record, I don’t believe her.

Stacey commented that the girls better watch out for Sisi and that she could be Canada’s Next Top Model. Which of course led Sisi to launch into another tirade.

“It would really suck if I don’t win this because it would feel like I’m losing to a bunch of stupid and vain, fake, lame girls. I feel like I’m in a total different game here.” Uh huh. OK. Whats up. Shut up! (courtesy of Trick Daddy)

Oh my! Talk about fugging up your makeover! What in hot hell is this?!

The girls find out they are doing their first fashion show for a rugby team. Brandi accidently flashes them. I hope she doesn’t go home and cry to her boyfriend (again).

Sisi’s walk was fierce! If only she would stop with her so-called shit talking, maybe I can actually like her. (her photo was really good this week too)

However, Brandi won the runway challenge.

Stacy challenged the rugby players to do their own fashion show! Woi! My man was c-walking here!

Although I pick on Tenika for those damn square earrings, it’s all in good fun. I’m really starting to like her. She seems sweet and was very gracious about Brandi winning the runway challenge.

Sisi pulls out a knife while Ylenia is cooking. Um. I think she was trying to be funny but ah..ha ha?

Brandi’s prize for winning the challenge was a luxurious jacuzzi bath and a bottle of Moet. She got a little crunk, invited the girls into the hot tub and jumped in with her IPod on. Needless to say, it stopped working.

Ok. Um. Tell me why this heffer started bawling like her dog died? “My boyfriend gave me the ipod and all those songs, sniff sniff, and boo hoo hoo.” WTF? Then she calls him crying her eyes out and he’s lecturing her on watching her drinking or something like that. I don’t know exactly what she said because all that blubbering was annoying me. I couldn’t bear to watch her crying over an IPod that she, herself, submerged underwater. After she gets off the phone she wipes her tears and goes on and on about how strong she is. RIGHT. (hint…you can download those songs again…but you didn’t hear that from me…)

**I know this recap is late but after watching Brandi crying over some bullshit and whining like a 12 year old, I have to take a break. Part 2 tommorrow!**

*Part 2*

The girls are on set for their latest photoshoot. On a farm.

After the IPod debacle, Brandi is attempting to save it by drying it. I am not even going to say anything about that.

Natalie got a nasty bug bite! Ewwww! Thank God for Photoshop.

Phillip Bloch (Hollywood stylist for Halle Berry, Salma Hayek, etc) popped in to help out on this week’s photoshoot.

Philip asked Sisi if she was drunk. Again she was told that she was quirky and but in the end she took a good shot.

Brandi is so much prettier when she’s not talking.

The focus of the photoshoot was on movement, so here is Andrea attempting to trot across the room. The photographer remarked that she looked like she was tip-toeing through horse manure, to which she replied, “Don’t do that?” Hmm… is that a rhetorical question?

Ugh. Natalie still gets on my nerves.

Phillip said he was bored. Me too Phillip, me too. Apparently the bug bite was hurting her leg so she blamed her lackluster performance on that.

Phillip loved Ylenia. He said she looked like a supermodel (even though she is bigger than the rest). I know models are supposed to be skinny but I didn’t notice that Ylenia was bigger than the other girls?

Sisi is bitching again and making her little smart remarks (in confessional of course). She complained that they backcombed her hair too much and it now feels like a bird’s nest. Then she said “Now I know what Brandi feels like everyday.” She needs to stop. Brandi gets on my nerves too but c’mon Sisi! Quit drinking the haterade!

Finally, it’s judging time!
The girls had another walking challenge. Andrea did this wierd head nod thing at the end of her “strut” and I caught Stacy rolling her eyes! Ha!

When Stacy gave Andrea feedback on her walk, Andrea interrupted her. Stacy then pointed out that she has done this several times and needs to learn how to listen. How did Andrea react?

Unlike Rich’s recaps, I get irritated when these heffers start crying at the drop of a hat. Cry over something that’s worth crying over! I thought I was emotional but these chicks make me feel like I’m ice cold! Girlfriend was hicupping and shit while she was explaining how she listens well in school, so she’s surprised at the criticism… snore … zzzzzzzz….

But they loved her photo and one judge even remarked “That’s not her!”

Another one that fugged up her makeover!

The judges loved Ylenia’s picture. They described it as magic. Everyone was oohing and ahhing and singing her praises. Then Tricia mentioned that some of her shots looked at little thick in the hips. Despite all the praise she received, Ylenia focused on that one comment and remarked that those negative comments make her hate her body. *sigh* I hope she doesn’t start eating pickles for dinner. Well…if it’s any consolation, I think she looks great.

During deliberations, Phillip remarked that he’d like to take Andrea for something to eat and shopping and that Sisi was the Bjork of modelling…hehehe. But they loved both of their photos.

Bottom two, Tenika and Natalie. Guess who goes home?

Miss Natalie. They sent her home because she was “too big.” I guess the saran wrap didn’t work. My theory is that they sent her home for fugging up her makeover. Oh well. Bye Natalie!

I noticed that none of these girls are very disappointed when they are booted off. Nobbody cries when they leave. Anyway, this show is starting to drain me. Let’s see if I make it through another episode/recap.

Looking for week 3’s recap? I do plan on doing it but I had a busy week and I’m going to have a busy weekend so it probably won’t be up until Monday-ish. But don’t fret, it will be up before episode 4, hopefully! For those who are new to the site, here are the previous recaps:

Episode 1: Canada’s Next Top Bore
Episode 2 : Makeover Day!

Who gets eliminated? Here’s a hint for the regular readers:
“sunflower seeds”

And for those who can’t wait, here are the YouTube videos for episode three (in 5 parts).

Part 1 —- Part 2 —- Part 3 —- Part 4 —- Part 5

Have a good weekend!

So I decided to give Canada’s Next Top Model another week, despite its lackluster debut and guess what? I enjoyed it! Nothing like makeovers to save the day. Once again, the photoshoot didn’t move me but here’s the recap, from the top!

Natalie :
I don’t know what it is about her lips but everytime I see her speak, it reminds me of when I eat too many sunflower seeds or something salty, and my lips start to feel “pruny.”

Brandi is the first to give the “I’m not here to make friends, this is a competition” speech.

Pruny Lips claim that her butt is too big so she wraps it in saran wrap to sweat out the water weight. Here she is making it wearable under her jeans by slicing the middle with a butcher knife. One of the girls is actually helping her out instead of looking at her likes she’s crazy. She said that apparently a lot of athletes do this?

I know I say “like” too but I hope I don’t say it as often as some of these girls cause it’s kinda like annoying, like, you know what I mean? Alanna said “like” 5 times in a span of 11 seconds.

“We’re having so much fun, like, um, you should see, like, what we drive in like, we got picked up. Three black tinted Escalades. We drive in like, this group of three, and like, it’s so funny.”

Like oh my God! Like shut up!

The girls arrive at the salon for their makeovers and found their nametags beside each chair, except Brandi. She starts to worry, “I don’t see no Brandi!” Tricia comes by and says, “We’ll deal with you later, can you just chill?” Hmmm.

Alanna is just bland.

Somebody always cries on makeover day. We’ve gone through 6 seasons of ANTM, y’all should know that someone is going to get their hair chopped!

Greg Wencel (Tricia’s stylist) complained that Tenika was a pain in the ass all day and that he’s never worked with someone so irritating and demanding in his WHOLE career. Paul said she was “beyond diva.” She was worried about her hair falling out or getting ruined. I can’t say that I blame her though. Black hair is different from other types of hair and while I haven’t been to Victoria in a long time, I don’t remember seeing too many Black people there. I think he made her more nervous after telling her that they don’t know the history of her hair and not having a guideline for mixing chemicals. I’ve heard too many horrors stories about people inexperienced with styling Black hair so if I was Tenika, I’d be a little worried too!

Tenika and her new best friend, Andrea were talking about how excited they are to get the makeover so I don’t know how she was being “beyond diva.”

Brandi still doesn’t know whats going on. It turns out she didn’t get a name tag because they already thought she was “flawless” and didn’t need a makeover. They had the girl worrying for no reason! Very manipulative.

Tricia reveals her own “makeover” by by removing her clip-on hair.

“Her hair is fried.”

Oh LAAAWD when I saw this I thought they were talking about Tenika but it turned out to be Andrea. She cried because she wasn’t getting her weave anymore. I loved the color they gave her and anything is a step above those short bangs. Quit crying already. She needs to go before I start seeing snot dripping out of her nose. She called her mom for support.

“They were going to give me long hair extensions. And it was red. And it was awesome. And then last minute they said no and they cut it all off and it’s so short.” Boo hoo.

Sisi didn’t get much of a makeover; she thinks it’s because she has “strong black hair” which already makes her stand out. Maybe… But I can think of other reasons why she stands out.

Paul is gossipping with Brandi and it seems like he is trying to start some drama by asking her, “Sooooo, what’s it like to be roommates with Ten-i-ka?” When Brandi doesn’t offer any drama by replying “It’s ok,” he said something along the lines of “You know it’s gonna be a bitch right?” I couldnt make out exactly what he said. Brandi just says, “It’s gonna be me” and laughs. He wasn’t able to get any dirt about Tenika out of her, which is ironic since Tenika later goes into the confessional to say that she thinks Brandi is a snake.

Speaking of confessionals…why is Brandi eating during hers?

Tenika’s weave is too tight and she mentions that she’s in pain. Once again the stylists call her diva but I just don’t see it at this time. Paul tries to stir up trouble with Brandi again by making a remark about having a paining Tenika as a roommate. Tenika admitted that her head hurt but it looks good so she’s ok. Later she gushes about how good it looks, despite the pain, and that’s she happy and loves it.

I liked Natalie’s makeover too but I don’t know what it is about her but she annoys the shit outta me. I can’t quite put my finger on why.

Even though Andrea didn’t get her weave, she had the most dramatic change. She has this Molly Ringwald thing going on now. But she is so fragile! To make matters worse Paul tells her that they need to work on her style (and to get a fashion magazine because she’s totally of the mark) and that she’s lucky she has one of those freaky looks that kept her on. She reluctantly says, “thanks.”

What a difference!

Overall, everybody got pretty good makeovers. I find it funny that the stylists were standing around providing a running commentary about all the girls during their makeovers, especially since Paul (cowboy hat) is a judge as well.

Arrgh. Back at the house Andrea is crying over some bullshit again. Her parents are going to Jamaica so she won’t get to talk to them for a WHOLE WEEK! Geeze, they can’t even go on vacation without her crying. “They’re the only things that are keeping me going in this stupid competition and you are too. You’re just like my sister!” BFF!

This is what happens when you have too much time on your hands.

“Let’s make pancake boobies!”

And when there are no boys around. Canadian girls gone wild!

I’m warming up to Tricia now. She was very friendly and patient with the girls when guiding them through the “Fight Club” themed photoshoot.

Is it just me or did they go a little overboard with Tenika’s eyebrows?

Natalie, the saran wrapper, thinks she’s fat and has to lose 6000 inches. Correction, she doesnt think she’s fat for a human, just for a model.

“All the girls are like, half of me. I know for a human I look hot. It’s just for a model, I don’t.” Right.

I want to like Brandi but she’s just trying too hard. She’s knows she’s hot. Also, since she didn’t get a makeover, that just confirmed how “flawless” she already is. She a bit Jade-ish (ANTM) in the way that she was hard to direct because she already thought she knew how to model. But I liked her bathing suit the best out of the bunch.

She had a little meltdown at the house and cried with the girls because she doesn’t want them to feel like they can’t talk to her. Later, in her one-on-one interview, she starts with the “I’m not here to make friends” stuff again.

“Sisi is a freak, but in the best possible way.” The photographer continued to speak very highly of her. Even though he called her a freak. But in a good way…

The photoshoot bored me again so if you want to see the rest of the photos, check out the CNTM website.

More drama, designed to play with their minds, when the girls got back to the house. They are presented with a DVD that shows side-by-side comparisons of their first challenge walk-off with real models on runways. Poor Tenika…she said of herself “Tenika, you look like jackass.” I still don’t see the alleged diva attitude.

Now Sisi other hand…here is Ms.Sisi making fun of Dawn.

After doing her impression of Dawn, she ends the confessional by saying, “You’re so fucking boring.” Ouch! To see this clip, watch about a minute and a half into the video. Episode 2-Sisi’s Model Behaviour

Time for judging panel!

I want to like Dawn but she always looks bewildered, like a dear caught in headlights.

The judges liked Andrea’s photo but she was told to shave her hairy arms!

There were more mind games at panel. The judges asked each girl who they thought should be sent packing. The names were then posted on a suitcase and revealed. Sisi was picked four times as the person to go home. Tricia then says, “Now we’re are going to deliberate and see if we come to the same decision.”

Talk about making the girl nervous! The judges loved her though so we’ll see Sisi and her facial contortions and hat balancing skills for at least another week.

Apparently I’m not the only person that thinks Alanna is bland. Stacey says she’s boring and looks like the girl next door (but i don’t think she meant it in a good way.)

I like Tricia but she needs to practice her photo revealing skills. I couldn’t see who the final photo was. Well, no big surprise considering the bottom two were Brandi and Dawn. They sent bewildered Dawn home. She still had the same expression on her face when she was sent home.

Bye Dawn! At least you got a nice hair cut out of this!

I still don’t have any favourites but they’ve managed to keep me interested in another week.

Tune in next week: Brandi – “I think they got a titty!”

(To watch the episodes on YouTube, go HERE)

When I was younger, I thought Americans were so cool. Canada seemed so boring in comparison! But after living in California for a year and getting a chance to do a bit of travelling, I moved to Toronto and realized that Canada isn’t that bad. Don’t get me wrong. I love New York, Miami and Atlanta, etc etc, but you can’t go wrong with free health care, legally drinking/clubbing at 19 (18 in some provinces) and a prime minister (not president) that has a firm grasp of the English language.

However, I love me some American TV, especially America’s Next Top Model. So I was excited to see Canada’s Next Top Model, despite the fact that Canadian spin-offs of American TV usually suck but I was hopeful.

Perhaps a bit too hopeful. I have one word to describe the first episode. YAWN. We were going through a storm here in Toronto so the power kept cutting out and I was more mad that I had to reset my clock than missing parts of the show.

But I was inspired by Rich’s snort-juice-out-of-your-nose-that’s-so-funny recaps of ANTM and my love for all things Top Model. So, I’ve decided to go ahead with my take on CNTM, one frame at a time.

Without further adieu, I present to you, the finalists:
(click on images to make them larger)

Sylvie-Sherwood Park, AB Alanna – Kelowna, BC
__ __
Andrea – Whitby, ON_______ _ Dawn – Calgary, AB
____
Heather – Blenheim, ON_____ _ Natalie – New Westminster, BC
____
Sisi – Richmond, BC________ _ Tenika – Newmarket, ON
__ __
Ylenia – Vancouver, BC______ _ Brandi – Vancouver, BC

What in hot hell is going on here??!! How come there is no one from Toronto or Montreal??? I find that very strange that two of the major cities aren’t being represented and I KNOW there had to be potential models there….

But the host was not very recognizable either. I’m no fashionista so maybe it’s just me but does anybody know who Tricia Helfer is?

Apparently her career began after she won Ford Supermodel of the World contest. Woo! Impressive! Anywhoo…on with the show.

The opening looked promising, pretty much the same as ANTM with a slight twist on the nah-nah-nah-theme song. Ok Ok..familiar format..

Ms. Tenika claims she’ll win because of her personality and her looks…

Maybe…but she needs to get rid of them square earrings. Like Jem said, those are sooooooo 2000.

Ms. Sisi – the token Asian, Canada’s own Gina. My Asian pride is glowing.
Sisi – “I’m going to be as much entertainment for these girls as they are to me.”

Um. Entertainment? I thought you were here to be a model? But Sisi sure didn’t disappoint us with the entertainment factor.

Mr. Jay made an appearance and told the girls that often times, agents will use polaroids as a benchmark photo. This was Sisi’s pose:

Fierce Sisi! Fierce!Tenika was at it again. She’s already convinced herself that she is going to win. She asked Jay if he wanted “strong” for her polaroid.Those smoldering eyes are boring into my soul.Often times, models aren’t conventionally pretty, sometimes even a bit awkward…but I dunno about Andrea. Wooo. Sexy.

Their first challenge was a stroll on a wooden “catwalk.” Mr. Jay was not impressed with the sashays the girls had to offer. Them chicks were lucky that Mrs. Jay wasn’t there!

The winner got first pick on their bedroom in their “top model” house. I don’t understand why they chose Victoria, BC as the location for the house and the show. When I think of Victoria, I think of Parliament buildings, parks and retirees. This is a modelling contest, not a show for a weekend getaway. The house was nice, but it was out in the boondocks. They had to take a boat to get there. It just adds to the stereotypes of Canada being backward and boring, EH? Even I, was half expecting a Mountie or a beaver to pop up around the corner. Why couldn’t they just film it in Vancouver? (or Toronto, or Montreal)

Tricia pops by the house later to annouce to the girls that she is taking them to dinner. I don’t know if she was nervous or inexperienced since this is the first season, but she didn’t really have much personality. She’s a pretty lady but she didn’t seem to know what to say or how to connect with the girls.

I guess she doesn’t have Tyra’s maternal instinct.This is what Sylvie thought was appropriate attire for a fancy dinner. Well, she did admit that she didn’t know it was going to be fancy but c’mon…. you’re on Canada’s Next Top MODEL. I think overdressing would be better than underdressing under these circumstances. Or using a comb.
Sisi says she’s thinks she might be the bitchy one because the girls are boring and diva-ish or something like that. I was too distracted by this back and forth bobbly-head/neck thing she was doing to hear everything she said.

It’s only been ONE day so far and Andrea’s already crying because she’s homesick. Awww…how sweet…

The big drama of the evening was when a talent scout came to reveal that he had been secretly watching them during their first challenge and chose who he thought had the most potential. (Heather)

The other girls didn’t take it so well…I found it to be a very anti-climatic moment but I guess it was supposed to boost the competitiveness amongst the girls.

Usually the photoshoot is my favourite part of the show but in this episode, I wasn’t moved. Except, I feel a little bad for making fun of Andrea now. She told Jay that people always made fun of her and when he told her she was beautiful, she said that was the first time somebody ever told her that. Awwwww.

My heart was starting to warm up until I saw her post-photo shoot confessional. (Keep in mind it’s only been one day). She said she wasn’t sure if she could be in an industry where there is criticism everyday and that she’s ready to go home. Tricia, send her home! I’m tired of hearing her said “like, like, like” after every second word anyway.

Okay! Finally the girls go to judging panel. They had to have Jeanne Beker as a judge. I have been watching her on Fashion Television since I was a kid. I love her!

At this point, they could have sent anybody home. Nobody stood out in my mind. Tricia introduced Mr. Jay as the GUEST judge of the week, which sounds like he’s not coming back next week. Noooooooo! Don’t leave us here with all these boring girls!!!

Their prize consists of a contract with Sutherland Models, a spread in Fashion Magazine and a $100,000 contract with Proctor & Gamble (maker of Pantene and Cover Girl). Couldn’t they just say Pantene or Cover Girl? It just sounds like they’ll be modelling for hand soap or something like that when they say Proctor & Gamble.

So Tricia had a BIG issue with Tenika walking around topless for longer than nessessary at the photo shoot. She said it was disrespectful and asked her if she thought it was a strip club. I guess I see her point but eh, whatever. I didn’t think it was quite that serious. What was serious was her photo. Eeeks! Not a good look while wearing a skirt.

Hmm….where have I seen that before?

(Kelly from ANTM:Cycle 3)

Sisi honey, I know that bearing the burden of representing an entire ethnic group is quite a cross to bear but you’re hurting my heart. And my eyes. What was this?

I feel a little bad for posting these pics because she’s probably suffered enough embarassment but I don’t understand how she could not have not known that it would have came out just a tad bit wierd. Anyway, it’s a reality show. All footage is fair game! Tricia said Sisi confuses and scares her. Me too Tricia!Despite the I’m-going-to-suck-your-blood pics, Sisi made it through. Sylvie’s photo shoot went well, but she ended up getting the boot for her bad attitude and inability to dress appropriately for the occasion. Jay commented that her outfit was not proper and made it appear that she didn’t care about being a top model.

In response to the criticism, she said “So what?” That answer landed her in the bottom two and her eventual dismissal.

Well with those shoes, it looks like she can just skateboard her way home and forget about modelling. Bye bye Sylvie!

Phew! Finally done. That was quite a snoozer but I saw the clip for next week’s episode. I smell a catfight! Maybe I’ll give it another week to decide if these recaps are worth the time it takes to grab all these screen shots!

One of the things that made this so painful to watch (aside from being boring) was the way the girls were talking. It reminded me of this commercial.

Oh and by the way, I do not think this is a fair representation of Canada. We do not all say “aboot” or stuff like that, EH!!!

Go here for the official CNTM website

Each girl and judge has their own blog and people have left comments like “They just let anybody into modelling competitions huh?”

It’s hard out here for a reality TV star.

( Here is what was supposed to be yesterday’s post. Enjoy. )

I’m obsessed with America’s Next Top Model so I think it’s time I put my 2 cents in.

Gina.

First I thought it was great that Top Model finally had an Asian model…she dont look too shabby here, right? …And then she started acting crazy…

Exibit A, B and C(see video below)

A: Gina confused when asked how she could represent Asian women.
B: Gina drunk as hell. Chugged the champagne like it was her last day on earth.
C: Gina freaking out at a fashion show. Mind you, they had to use these huge, nasty cockroaches as accessories but still…she definately wins most dramatic performance.

Oh Gina. Thank you for representing us Asian gals so lovely. Today, I feel proud.

Miss Furonda!

I think she got on the show just because her name is fun to say. Fur-on-DA! For some reason it makes me think of gremlins…Furonda – Furry creatures? I dunno. I guess I’m just wierd. But check out that sexy body! When she won the challenge last week, her prize was a public service announcement…which was something she said she wanted to do with her “supermodel” status.Um, maybe not so sexy but at least I didn’t call her a praying mantis. I’ll leave that to Mr. Jay.

**after writing that Furonda reminded me of a gremlin, I went to http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/antm/index.html, my favorite one stop shop for everything ANTM and saw this:

I guess this image was stuck in my subconscious.

Why doesn’t Nnenna just dump her whiny, crybaby boyfriend? Every episode, he is crying on the phone with her, literally crying.

“I don’t get to talk to you. I get to hear from you.”
“What are your intentions, with this man?” (referring to himself)
“I’ve been depressed every night for the last month”
“Look at you ripping my heart out….why. can’t. you. love. me.”

I just love me a “manly” man. I think I’ve memorized everything he has said.

What the hell happened to Jade after her makeover? She went from cute in her promo pictures to looking like a washed out, female Justin Timberlake with that blondish poodle hair.

Or as the judges like to say, a drag queen. Check out the video below and decide for yourself.

My top three were Nnenna, Danielle and Molly but now Molly is gone. Last Wednesday was a sad day y’all. Molly got booted over Jade with her ” fabulous! hey girl! ” improv commercial.

Good bye Molly! I’ll miss you.

So I guess that just leaves Nnenna:

And Danielle:

Danielle is my absolute favorite. I want to be her friend. I don’t think she’ll win though so here’s my tribute to her:

Team Danielle!!!

Check out http://fourfour.typepad.com/fourfour/antm/index.html for HILARIOUS recaps complete with pictures and animations. You don’t even need to watch the show.

Also see http://www.upn.com/shows/top_model6/ for pictures.

*** UPDATE — Danielle won!!! ***